How do you go from 21 days of shouting, praising, teaching and sun, to sweaters, boots, apple chai-der, textbooks, working at a dining hall and cramming for exams?
How do you go from Hawaii with 450 of your newly found closest friends, to New York with the two most important women in your life, your mom and your 12 year old little sister?
How do you get off a plane from a trip that left you wrecked, and mow the lawn for 3 hours the next day?
The truth is I don’t know.
- Transition [ noun: 1.movement, passage, or change from one position, state, stage, subject, concept, etc., to another; change. 2. Passage from one scene to another by sound effects, music, etc. verb: an abrupt change in energy state or level (as of an atomic nucleus or a molecule) usually accompanied by loss or gain of a single quantum of energy]
I now have a better appreciation for the people who travel for work, who tour in bands, who don’t really have a resting place at home. When home is an escape and a retreat, not where you live. I am starting to understand this.
I am back at school. We just got through midterms. I am currently questioning what I am studying because the class I have waited 5 years to take (that made me want to study food science) I am currently failing. I need to learn how to say no. I feel like I wake up every day wishing for more margin in my life and I know I will never get it back.
The thought that life after college only gets harder makes me want to panic. Graduation is less than seven months away and I don’t know what to do. I don’t know what job to look for? I don’t know where to move?
School is fine, work is fine, family is fine, and campus ministry is fine.
I’m not happy with fine anymore. I want to Thrive not just survive.
I think it is funny that my word for this year is Thrive. there is something interesting that the word thrive does not communicate a completeness. It means you are still growing but you are growing well.
Andy Byrd talked about our school being a group of catalysts in his message on the Culture of Faith. That the world is on edge waiting for a reaction. Personally I think that with the current status of perceived stability in the economy, politics, and other global spheres of influence, everything is primed for a great reaction. The world is waiting for something to happen. I don’t know how to step from summer to school to the rest of everything. Honestly I don’t want to right now either. I want to do my best to live right here and now, but it is hard to do when you also feel a sense of duty to your generation. It is hard to sit still when you have the best news the world has to offer (especially among todays headlines). I don’t want to sit still anymore.
The thing about being a catalyst is that once there is one change, or you have made some difference, you are never truly satisfied. this is why you can only find your satisfaction in Jesus, because He is the only thing that is truly limitless.
I had the privilege of attending Awaken The Dawn this last weekend. I was challenged and encouraged and got to reconnect with people I met at 21 Project now almost three months ago.
I know this is a short post but I wanted to get something out rather than nothing even though it is small. This is a philosophy I will be adopting more in my life. The next post is coming. Somewhat fitting this post is short, it it Transition, and it it literally a transition into the next part of life. Transition is a change in energy, a change in state, a change in scene. This is where we are.
Thank you for all of your support and hanging in there with my very sparse posting!